We’re all walking each other home to ourselves. This is radical work, and I treat it with the awe and care that calls for.
What is Cuddle Therapy?
A safe, intimate sanctuary for anyone, for any or all of these needs:
Consentful, platonic, trauma-informed cuddling and relaxation
A space where you are in control at your own pace: your boundaries, consent, safety, and dignity will be cherished.
Cuddling is known to lower cortisol, and reduce symptoms of anxiety, depression, and muscle tension. It promotes hormone regulation via oxytocin (the “bonding hormone”).
Oxytocin reduces the brain’s fear response, increases dopamine, and modulates the hippocampus to promote consolidation of positive memories. These effects allow the nervous system to fully reset.
Emotional support, connection, and attuned presence
A space to experience intimate connection at your preference and pace, process emotions, and be held emotionally and physically.
A sacred space for:
Being held, affirmed, and cherished
Honoring your journey
Navigating life’s crossroads
Moving through grief
Processing difficult or complex emotions
Exploring identity or life path
Helping you connect more deeply to yourself and others
My commitments to you
I will cherish your agency, safety, identities, and dignity in this space, with all my skill and diligence.
I am here for you. Active consent and communication are very alive in the container we create. We’ll always move at your pace and center your needs and asks.
We all need spaces of safety and understanding, away from microaggressions and masking. As part of my responsibility and growth, I’m skilled and committed to attending to my internalized material, to allow this space to be the most restorative sanctuary possible.
Authentic, wholehearted care and connection will flow from me.
I cherish my clients: their humanity, journeys, strength, joys, struggles, and inner world. It’s an honor and a deep joy to see you and hold you.
Who I work with in Cuddle Therapy
I work with anyone of any identity, body, or gender, as long as you are 18 or older.
Because of my lived experience, I’m often a particularly good fit for people who are neurodivergent, queer, or gender expansive.
I work with people who are simply looking for platonic cuddles and touch, as well as those who are looking for deeper intimacy practice, connection, and explorative conversation.
What Cuddle Therapy can Look Like
If we haven’t worked together before, I prefer to have a typical first session at my cuddle space or your home. Once we’ve established a working relationship, I’m available for any of the following options:
Attuned, relaxing sessions at my private cuddle space
Travel with (or for) clients
Support for periods of grief or stress (breakups, loss, disability, difficult periods, recovery, hard news, etc.)
Sessions at your home or other private space
Overnight cuddle sessions (perfect for people wanting to be platonically cuddled to sleep)
Cuddling with multiple clients or providers
Multi-day sessions
On-call cuddler for tournaments, business travel, conferences, etc.
Cuddle Therapy FAQ
What’s your rate for Cuddle Therapy?
My rate is $90/hour, plus $50/hour for travel time (pro-rated to 10 minute increments).
Where do sessions take place? Do you travel?
I practice in a private, ground floor, wheelchair accessible space in Lake City, Seattle, near Lake Washington.
If desired, I will travel to you. If you’re outside of the greater Seattle area, let me know and we’ll coordinate logistics before we meet.
Sessions are variable depending on your needs and preferences: typical sessions are a minimum of 1.5 hours and a maximum of 4 hours. If we’ve worked together before, I also offer a range of custom offerings.
If we’re in the middle of a session, you’re welcome to ask about extending it; I sometimes have availability for that.
How long are sessions?
I haven’t worked with many trans people before. Is it okay if this is new for me?
Yes, it really is. I’m very practiced at meeting people where they are, and welcoming them at their learning edges. The relational container we’re co-creating together is sustained by both dignity and generosity of spirit, which I bring in abundance to our space.
Any meeting between people carries the risk of awkwardness, discomfort, and even harm, and of course this risk goes both ways. But it also carries the possibility for allyship, intimacy, growth, pleasure, care, and being seen.
Audre Lorde reminds us: “It is within our differences that we are both most powerful and most vulnerable, and some of the most difficult tasks of our lives are the claiming of differences and learning to use those differences for bridges rather than as barriers between us.”
If you’re looking for extra resources ahead of time, I highly recommend Julia Serano’s essays.
I know how unpredictable bodies and minds can be at times. I encourage you to do what feels best for your body and psyche without any pressure. You’re also welcome to come to a session at my space in Lake City and feel it out, with the knowledge that we can end at any time and I’ll pro-rate the cost for you. I’m happy to reschedule us to honor your capacity.
What if I’m not doing well the day of our session (for reasons other than communicable illness)?
Always. It’s very common to experience joy, catharsis, grief, etc. when being attuned to and well-held. I’m practiced at holding heavy emotions and I have tissues. Your feelings are a gift: I’m honored to hold space for them and you.
Is it okay to cry?
I will proactively protect your privacy. This means:
If we encounter each other in public, I won’t reveal I know you (I’ll follow your lead on how you want to interact, but I won’t interact with you by default).
If anyone (spouses, partners, friends, acquaintances, etc.) asks me if we’ve worked together, I won’t reveal I know you or share any information without your prior permission.
I don’t judge anyone for working with me without telling their partner / spouse / friends etc., and this isn’t a prerequisite for working with me. That said, being open about working with me often carries the potential to help many relationships strengthen and grow — it may end up being true for you too.
How is my privacy protected?
What’s the energy we’re co-creating?
Platonic, attuned, and sensual (attuned to the senses). Grounded and intimate, but not sexual.
Here are some examples of things you’re very welcome to ask for (giving or receiving). In fact, most of these things are common cuddle activities.
Of course, this isn’t an exhaustive list. There are lots of creative options available.
What’s okay to ask for during a session?
Holding hands
Touching faces
Playing with each other’s hair
Resting your head in my lap (or the reverse)
Head scratches
Nuzzling faces, shoulders, collarbones, etc.
Rubbing or holding bellies
Touching hips
Shoulder rubs
Foot rubs
Spooning
Light touch with fingertips
Etc.
Many of these things can often be considered (or experienced as) sensual or romantic in nature, or precursors to sexual intimacy. For our purposes, we’re allowing them to be platonically intimate and sensual (focusing on the senses) without being sexual (aimed at arousal). In the ancient Greek framework of love, we’re calling in agape or philia rather than eros.
Anything explicitly sexual or romantic (or intended to be) is off-limits. Also, anything that’s normally okay to ask for can be situationally off limits if the goal behind it is arousal or romance (for example, while asking me to rub your hip is perfectly okay, it isn’t alright for you to ask for it if you know it’ll be arousing for you).
For our purposes, the following is always off-limits:
What’s off-limits?
Lip to lip contact
Grinding
Touching breasts or genitals (indirect, passive contact is common and possible with consent: for example, if we’re spooning or hugging).
Saying “I love you” or similar
Not wearing underwear
Contact with tongues
Revealing nudity
If you’re unsure, I welcome and encourage you to ask, as long as you’re prepared for a “no thank you” or “I can’t offer / reciprocate that”.
What if I become aroused during a session?
This is normal, and there’s no reason for shame or guilt about it. If it happens, it’s okay to mention it if you like, and I ask you to calmly redirect toward platonic energy, taking whatever time your body needs to return to baseline.
If I notice this happening, I’ll mention it calmly and ask us to reset.
Cuddle Therapy Policies
I require all my clients to have showered the day of our sessions together, and after any vigorous or intimate activity before meeting with me (I will do the same).
I also require that all my clients come to our sessions as free from strong scent as reasonably possible (this is not a requirement for perfection, but mindfulness and care). This means fragrance, sweat, essential oils, scent from tobacco, vape, or other substances, scented detergent used on clothes (often a culprit), or hair products with noticeable fragrance. I also commit to honoring this.
If I notice some scentedness that I feel might compromise the space or the container we’re building together, you’ll have the option to shower (in the private bathroom adjoining the space) to see if that addresses the issue. Please note that the natural ways our bodies smell is very welcome, as long as you’ve showered within a reasonable time frame.
There are many clients who are highly impacted by scents, and it’s my responsibility to keep the space clear from scents that can linger even after washing sheets etc.
Hygiene, fragrance and scentedness
Clear-minded consent
I require my clients to not be under the influence of any substance that would impair or diminish their ability to communicate or consent. If medications or other serious mental health conditions might affect this, let’s have a conversation about it beforehand.
Communicable illness
If either of us is carrying something spreadable, we shouldn’t see each other. If you’re recovering from something and you’re not sure what you had or if you’re still contagious, I require that you’ve 1) covid-tested if relevant, and 2) be at least 4 days out from the last day you experienced any symptoms (some symptoms that commonly linger for an extended time, like a hoarse throat, are negotiable: just let me know).
If you have to cancel due to illness of any kind, I’m happy to reschedule us with no fee.
I do not require masking at this time, but respect the practice and will happily mask myself upon request.
Age
You must be at least 18 to engage in cuddle therapy with me.
Often enough, we may share communities or encounter each other in the world. If we didn’t know each other before working together, I won’t disclose our time together or indicate I know you unless you do so first. Your privacy will be respected by default.
You’re welcome to share anything about our sessions together as you like. But I ask you to respect that working with me in a professional context (however authentic and meaningful our connection) isn’t the same thing as being part of my personal or social circle. If we’ve worked together over the course of a few months or more and you’d like to get to know me socially, I welcome the ask. As a matter of professional ethics, I won’t make such an ask of you unless you broach the subject.